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I feel like I'm in some weird waking dream state that is Fall quarter. Like most of my dreams, nothing seems to make sense, and I am fixated on things that I know are extremely unimportant, but in the dream they seem like the entire world hinges on them. And I know it's a dream, and it doesn't matter.

I can see myself waking up from it. December 14, I will be back at my home in Lincolnwood, in my bathtub. I will let my head drop down into the water, open my eyes for a second in the hot water and stare at the blur.

I will raise my head from the water, and then, only then, will I feel awake again.

I can almost feel the water stinging my eyes right now.

It doesn't make it any better.

— November 13, 2001

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