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by adam mathes
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Ideal Job

I have found my calling in life.

I think the best job in the world would be to write Cartoon Network interstitials. [1]

A job where my encyclopedic knowledge of cartoon characters is actually considered useful instead of creepy! Where my lack of attention span and inability to write something substantial with a plot and character development is an asset!

I mean, did you see Rescue of the Superfriends, that one where Aquaman and Wonder Woman are captured by the Legion of Doom and are being slowly lowered to their deaths? It was brilliant.

“My ability to talk with fish is of no help, Wonder Woman!”

“Nothing can save you now, Super FOOLS! Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Then the Powerpuff Girls break through, kick the crap out of Lex Luthor, Solomon Grundy, and the rest of the Legion of Doom. Then they use their laser eyes to set Scarecrow on fire!

Finally, the day saved, Wonder Woman thanks the Powerpuff Girls.

“You Girls are developing into quite the superheroes!”

“Someday, we’ll be as developed as YOU!” Bubbles exclaims.

And then Lex starts laughing.

Until a piece of celing falls on him, and then everyone laughs.

  1. Interstitials are the little bits between television shows that are not commercials, often used to build station brand identity, for example, almost everybody remembers the old MTV animations from the 1980’s.

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