trenchant.org

by adam mathes
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Substantial Changes

In the week and a half since I decided I was going to be a writer, I have done the following in pursuit of my new cartoon screen-writer lifestyle:

  1. Stared vacantly at my resume, trying to figure out how I would attempt to explain that despite the fact that my only job experience is sitting in front of a computer, programming, I am still entirely qualified to write funny cartoon shows.

  2. Scribbled copious amount of incomprehensible scrawl on yellow notepads.

  3. Bought new glasses, which I have been told make me look so much like a writer that I should include a head-shot with my resume, and that if the actual writing job doesn’t work out, I should make an attempt to become an actor and play a writer on a television show.

  4. Completely failed to come up with any good ideas for episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

  5. Watched five tapes of cartoons, (Adult Swim pilots, Toonheads War Cartoons, Cartoon Campaign 2000, Brak Presents the Brak Show Starring Brak, and very secretly, the censored Bugs Bunny cartoons that haven’t been shown in years) all with very official looking Cartoon Network labels, only one degree removed from a real, live, actual Cartoon Network executive.

  6. Wrote perhaps one third of a Space Ghost Coast to Coast script.

  7. Received a complete six video cassette collection of the Thundercats - it’s a long story - but only watched the first two episodes since the copy quality made it unbearable to watch.

  8. Avoided writing anything of substance for this web site

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