trenchant.org

by adam mathes
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Two Year Rule

There were two things I never argued with Ian about: his skill at eating while driving, and the two year rule.

The two year rule states that you must wait at least two years from the time of breakup to talk to your ex-girlfriend.

As Ian neared the end of his senior year, and the two year mark got closer, I asked him if he was going to start talking to her again.

“The thing about the two year rule is that it really needs to be the five year rule, but you can’t tell people it’s a five year rule, because it seems too long and people wouldn’t buy it.”

“That makes sense.”

“And the thing about the five year rule is that it really needs to be you can talk to her as soon as you don’t want to talk to her rule.”

“That’s sort of a Catch-22.”

I then laughed because Ian had been bugging me to read Catch-22 for years, and when I finally got around to it, I read about 50 pages and then lost interest.

“Exactly.”

He started talking to her again anyway.

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