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by adam mathes
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Cybernetically Enhanced

“No, it would be for the Gameboy Advance.”

“What happened to NeoGeo Pocket forever?”

“GBA has really good free development kits. Anyway, it’s a real-time action adventure with RPG elements in an overhead view. Emphasis is on exploration and getting new gadgets to open up new areas of the game.”

“So, you’re ripping off Zelda?”

“Yes. More people should rip off Zelda, it was a good game. But the setting is futuristic, it’s very technology oriented. Like, I would be ripping off everything I can think of from System Shock 2 that would work in 2D. Then adding a grappling hook.”

“Right. Because any game can be made better by adding a grappling hook.”

“That’s Zoid’s law. But wait… it gets better. The main character is a cybernetically enhanced super-penguin.”

“Does he have a little ocular implant thing over one eye?”

“He totally has an ocular implant thing over one eye. And he has a portable teleportation device. And eight different laser upgrades and…”

“Seriously, just stop.”

“What? The kids love penguins.”

“Seriously. Stop. Get a job.”

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