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Dakota and I were at Home Depot buying gloves, shovels, picks, and giant machetes when an old man remarked to us, "looks like you guys are about to chop down a jungle."

"Actually, we are. We have a backyard full of bamboo."

"Let me tell you something: god did not make that plant. The devil did."

He was a wise man.

— April 24, 2003

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