trenchant.org

by adam mathes
archive · subscribe

Excuses, Excuses

As disappointed as you loyal readers may be that I have not updated for an entire week, without explanation, I can assure you that I am far, far more disappointed in myself than you can ever be.

It pains me to admit this, but I have spent the last week playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.

Now, losing a chunk of my life to a video game is nothing new, although it doesn’t happen with the same frequency as it did in my younger and more vulnerable years. What makes this episode particularly sad, troubling, and difficult to even admit is that this game was a Star Wars themed Role Playing Game for the Xbox.

Where to even begin with that?

It makes me feel dirty on so many levels.

First, I don’t like RPG’s. Especially ones that take themselves seriously enough to think I should know what “constitution” and “fortitude” statistics are supposed to mean. Statistics? I mean, if I wanted to roll dice and play Dungeons and Dragons, well, actually, this hypothetical is just too ridiculous to continue. I mean, it’s Dungeons and Dragons. Just, no.

At least KOTOR, as the game is affectionately called by me and my fellow losers, isn’t turn based, so it didn’t feel as full of dice rolling stat stupidity D&Dish. (It was still there, but a little more under the hood.)

But Star Wars? I can’t believe I still give these guys money after they put out THE PHANTON MENACE. I can’t believe I saw Attack of the Clones twice. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with all of us?!

Finally, it’s on the Xbox, or as I call it, the Box Satan Left in my Living Room.

But enough excuses. I will write regularly again. (Maybe.)

· · ·

If you enjoyed this post, please join my mailing list