trenchant.org

by adam mathes
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Thematic Overtones

“So I read your web site.”

“Uh oh.”

“The two main themes seem to be one, your inability to deal with the opposite sex; and two, your infatuation with cartoons and video games.”

“What about pointed observations about modern life and the world around us?”

“No, didn’t see much of that. Anyway, have you ever thought that the two themes are just two sides of the same coin?”

“What do you mean?”

“That your inability to have functional relationships with women is just a byproduct of your obsession with the trappings of youth, and that this inability to leave boyhood makes you less masculine, less mature, less able to handle an adult relationship. Basically, that you’ll never really be successful in your relationships until you stop playing Nintendo.”

“No, mostly I think it’s a lack of confidence from being short.”

“Oh. Well, you really are quite short.”

“Thanks.”

“No, I mean, really, I hadn’t thought about it much until now, but wow, yeah. You are really short.”

“Ok, yeah, I know.”

“That probably does mess up your sense of self-worth when you’re a guy, doesn’t it?”

“I really shouldn’t have said that.”

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