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by adam mathes
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Lonely Jew on Christmas

Christmas lights and holocaust denial conventions make me think that maybe I should be trying harder to date and procreate with Jewish girls.

I mean, we’re only 2% of the US population. And that itself is like 40% of the world’s Jewish population.

Don’t I have some sort of obligation here to stop chasing shiksahs?

Not that I’m chasing shiksahs, but, historically.

Making some flawed assmptions and doing a back of the envelope calculation –

Jews are evenly distributed in the US (not really) so ~2% of everyone I meet is Jewish.

I am heterosexual, and thus only 50% of encounters are an option.

There is approximately a ~1% chance I like someone, independent of race, ethnicity, or religion. (Remember: video games, purple hair, cartoons and other things I like know no racial, ethnic or religious boundaries. And we’ll ignore the possible predisposition to shiksahs for these purposes and ease of calculation.)

There is approximately a 0.5% chance a girl likes me, and it’s independent of whether I like her, or whether she’s a Jew. (We’ll ignore that this may be an overestimate by many orders of magnitude.)

The chance that someone I encounter is my Jewish close-enough-soul-mate match is something like -

2% x 1% x .5% x 50% = 5 x 10^-7 = .0000005 = .00005%

And I don’t exactly know what that many zeroes means, but it’s probably not promising.

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