trenchant.org

by adam mathes
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Middle School

Valentine’s Day Special -

“We know everyone hates Valentine’s Day, but we here at Consumating are taking it as an opportunity to spread some fourth-grade style lovin’. For Valentine’s Day only, you can give the gift of a tiny pixelated heart to your sweetheart or crush. Each member gets five hearts to give, and because this is Consumating, we’ll be keeping track of the hearts given and hearts received.”

This is pretty brilliant, although it will inevitably lead me to relive horrible middle school memories when I get no Valentines.

(Just once, I’d like to not screw up Valentine’s Day. Maybe next year.)

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