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by adam mathes
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The Importance Of Dental Hygiene

Back when I was in a long term relationship I had all these extra toothbrushes because I bought some giant pack from Costco.

And every time my girlfriend got angry at me and ran off (which happened fairly regularly) she’d throw out her toothbrush.

Then a few hours or days later or whatever she’d come back and go into the giant Costco pack of toothbrushes and have a new toothbrush.

A few months after she had left for good, I accidentally dropped my toothbrush into the toilet and went to the closet to get a new one, but the package (of 25) was empty.

*

A few months later I was seeing a girl and she established a toothbrush presence in my bathroom.

This made her uneasy since she wasn’t my girlfriend.

I just don’t want you looking at two during the week.

She was probably right.

Pretty soon things were over and I had to throw out her toothbrush for her.

*

With the most recent toothbrush from a different non-girlfriend I just made sure that when she wasn’t around the toothbrush went into the medicine cabinet. This seemed like a reasonable compromise.

(I had to throw that one out too.)

*

“You know I had a similar issue once.”

“How did you deal with it?”

“Same basic idea. The difference is I just made the next girl use the same toothbrush.”

“That’s gross, making them share a toothbrush.”

“Any more disgusting than making them share my cock?”

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