trenchant.org

by adam mathes
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This is the redacted version, obviously

Do you know any of these people?

Add people you know as friends to make these results even better for you.

K
No.

F
Yes. Just to be very clear - we are not friends. She is annoying.

J
Yes. Don’t care.

N
No.

M
No.

J
I think that guy fucked my ex-girlfriend when we were in college.

J
No.

J
No.

D
No.

W
No.

K
No.

S
Yeah, I guess I know him, but I’d probably avoid him if I saw him in public.

Y
I know everyone on the current and soon to be ex-apm dashboard.

A
Kate and Noah and Mike have a lot of friends I don’t know.

G
Ok actually I do know him and he’s OK but I keep a policy of avoiding ex-coworkers, generally.

T
No.

D
Are you fucking trying to raise my blood pressure with this shit, Facebook? Seriously? Where’s the “dead to me” link? I should fucking cancel my account.

W
Keep it up and this will be the ex-apm dashboard soon.

J
She apparently knows someone I slept with.

S
No.

R
We lived in the same dorm, I guess. I don’t really remember him though.

J
Ok, fine, we did sort of go to college together and know each other and were maybe even “friends” to the extent I was friends with anybody that year but what’s the point anymore?

Q
All right after that last one I’m done with this college nostalgia shit, ok? Fuck it. What do I have to talk about with any of these people? Nothing. Fucking nothing.

V
No. Oh we both know Bill Falsey. Oh cool, I totally forgot I was Facebook friends with Bill! Sort of cool! Not really. Why am I writing all this down.

M
We have five common friends from Stanford but I have no idea who this is because apparently my friends don’t ever introduce me to their friends. Oh, also, I never fucking left my dorm room and when I did I didn’t pay attention to people.

V
No.

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