trenchant dot org
texty texts: i write all about my stupid life

adamcam: live! 24 hours a day! it's... me in front of my computer.
adammathes.com: your portal to all that is adammathes

adam at this domain name
aol im screenname: adammathes

Summer 2000 FAQ texty texts

September 5, 2000




Continuing on with the grand tradition of Summer FAQ's, where I pretend that people have "questions" about me and I proceed to "answer" them, here's the Summer 2000 FAQ. Yay!

Now, certainly in the traditional sense, these aren't FAQ's since the questions aren't exactly asked frequently. But they are asked sometimes. Well, not exactly. What I mean is that sometimes people ask these questions to themselves when they're thinking about me, which is never. What I mean is, there is a possibility that these questions could have been asked occassionally by people if anybody actually spoke to me. Maybe.

What happened to Deepleap?

It died.

What's that supposed to mean? Can you elaborate?

It means the company is dead. Gone. Deepleap is no more. I can elaborate, but I won't.

So, now that deepleap is dead, what are you doing with your summer?

Sleeping, watching Sailor Moon, and coding.

Coding what?

Basically, I'm working on a project codenamed Organizine. That's it.

No, I can't tell you what it is yet.

It's being used to write this though.

Which I guess pretty much gives most of it away.

So it's a web based publishing and content management tool?

I didn't say that.

Well, yes you did, because you're me.

Don't get all fight club on me man.

I've seen that movie way too many times.

I know, seriously.

Why won't you talk about organizine?

Because I don't want to overhype something that may never actually get finished.

You aren't going to finish it? That's all you've been doing since you got home!

Well, most of the basic functionality is done, I mean, I'm using it to publish this. It's at the point where it's useful to *me* - but there's a lot of frontend work that has to be done before it'll be useful to someone besides me.

Oh please tell me you're not doing the frontend...

Hopefully some much more competent friends of mine will do the frontend. Code and presentation is pretty rigidly seperated so, yeah. I've got an ugly but usable interface right now, but it could be swapped out for something better in a snap.

What kind of a stupid name is organizine?

Blame Pressman, it was his idea. It's just a temporary codename thing. I'll come up with a better name soon. Or not. I haven't decided yet.

Are there going to be lots of sexual jokes about cartoon characters like in the last FAQ?

No.

But that was the best part last time! In fact, that was the only funny part last time.

No.

FINE. So how about those new episodes of Sailor Moon?

I know! The third season finally translated and on Cartoon Network! Yeah!

Is it true that there are lesbian Sailor Scouts?

Well, it's complicated. I've read things that say that Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus are lesbian lovers, others that say that's just what dumb Americans think and really it's this whole cultural difference thing... and yeah. You know how the old saying goes "you see what you want to see?"

Yes, and there's nothing that you want to see more than lesbian schoolgirl sailor scouts.

Is that wrong?

On many, many levels.

Hey, isn't this organizine thing pretty cool?

Yeah, I guess, too bad the name is so stupid.

Screw you, I like the name!

Can we try and stay on track here?

What track? Is there some plan here? I thought the track was to just bullshit for a while and then post it as a texty text because I don't have anything to write about.

You're not supposed to tell everyone that... geez.

Sorry.

It's ok. Now, back to these lesbian sailor scouts...

I don't think that really fits in with the FAQ criteria.

Look, nobody asks you questions ok, this whole thing is just stupid.

I don't remember asking you, bucko.

Are we going to start fighting each other now, Tyler and Jack style?

Umm, remember when you specifically said "don't get all fight club on me?"

No, you're insane, and we simply do not have time for this.

This may be the worst texty text ever.

Nah, you've written much worse. Not recently, but that's only because you haven't written in a while.

Well, writing about how deepleap died isn't exactly something I'm really looking forward to... and it's kind of hard to write about this summer without mentioning the abrupt, unexpected premature ending to my employment and...

Blah blah excuses excuses blah blah blah. So, adam, why don't you walk us through a typical day in the life of Adam Mathes, late Summer 2000.

Well, usually I get up around 2:00 or 2:30 pm. Shower, cook myself some breakfast, then settle down at 3:00pm for the most important part of my day.

And that is...

Duh, Sailor Moon on Cartoon Network. After that, I usually play video games for a while. Then I settle in for a few hours of coding.

Then, it's dinner with the family. Have I mentioned that I'm unemployed and living with my parents until I go back to school? That's sort of a key element here. There's usually some questions from the parents, like "why do you sleep all day" and "why are there three computers in your room" and "why don't you have a girlfriend" and "what the hell do you do all day in your room" occassionally,"dammit adam, when was the last time you even left the house, what the hell is wrong with you?" After dinner there's coffee and dessert, my current favorite is brownies with Edy's Dulce de Leche ice cream. Yum.

After that it's back to my room for my coding and testing, and of course, video games.

I go to bed at about 5am, but I can't sleep so I usually read or lay in bed and contemplate the structure of the universe.

I usually pass out about 6:30 or 7am.

Wow. You're a fucking dork.

Yeah, like it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

How long have you been doing this?

Almost three weeks now.

And how much longer are you going to be doing this?

Oh, about another two and a half weeks. Then it's back to school.

Is this year going to be any different?

Well, let's just say the Sailor Moon posters are going to be up in the dorm room again to scare away any potential, well, anybody really.

That's really unhealthy.

Oooh, ooh, that's really unhealthy, you're dangerously anti-social, blah blah blah. Tell me something I haven't heard eight thousand times.

No, I take it back, this may be the worst texty text of all time.

Shut up.




copyright 2000 adam mathes