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Wednesday, April 26, 2000

personally, i blog for riot grrrls, but i don't think they've noticed

Proving once again that I'm out of the loop and Swooopey isn't -

medley -

"Oh jeez. Riothero, a very young weblogger, has put up a page called "he blogs for webgirls" with pictures of a bunch of women, links to their sites and his own commentary about them. Sigh. Sigh, sigh, sigh. Wendell observes:

there's just something extra creepy about "every weblogger's little brother" using the term girls for a group of women who are all older than he is. But I'll leave it to the unapologetic feminists in the blog party to give him his well-deserved slap-down. Lyn? Amanda? Xeney? Mommy? 'Becca?
...

Look . . . how shall I put this delicately? The tone is just all wrong, my dear boy. Women have been put on pedestals, patronized, and petted approvingly for doing 'guy things' for too damn long. Yes, I'm a woman, yes, I run a website that more than a few people seem to think is cool, but please don't get all excited about the fact that a mere woman can speak her mind and "try[...] to stand out and be somebody." We don't try, we do. It's good that strong, interesting women seem to turn you on, but too much starry-eyed worship can seem to imply a serious lack of genuine respect for personhood, in my experience. There's a fine, fine line."

Right on sister! I was shocked, dismayed, and offended by his tone. "Starry-eyed" enthusiasm and use of the disgustingly penis-patriarchal term "girl" surely implys a genuine lack of respect for womyn everywhere. Yeah, i could definitely see how a 15-year old talking about the websites run by females that he thinks are great is really patronizing. I was sigh, sigh, sigh - offended too.

Rebby to the rescue -

"As far as his tone goes, I find it to be celebratory, complimentary, and supportive. He may lack the context of an adult woman with a broad historical background, but, for heaven's sake--he's 15. As far as I'm concerned he's throwing in his vote with his usual enthusiasm for the accomplishments of a set of...ummm, 'womyn' he admires, and I appreciate it.

Girls: there are still real threats to female autonomy. Mark isn't one of them. Any man who celebrates the voices of women he considers to be intelligent and beautiful is on our side. Now go pick on someone your own size."

Of course, she is on the list...

Today on rio the ro -

"The largest penis only 13.5 inches long? I guess they didn't count me... What's the GuinessBook's phone number again?"

posted 4/26/2000 2:12:34 PM | perma-link

there's nothing important or witty in this post so let me preemptively say, stop your bitching

Because I missed blog-irc last week, there's going to be another one tonight. Dan "look at me, i now have my own fricking domain name" Sanderson said something to that effect last week. Well, actually, it was more like, blog-chat is just so splendid we're going to do it on a weekly basis, but I think we can all read between the lines on that one.

Blah blah irc.skunkworks.cx:6667 #blogirc or something to that effect. I think? Something like that. Probably. Use your imagination. I shouldn't be making these announcements anyway.
posted 4/26/2000 2:02:46 PM | perma-link


Monday, April 24, 2000

buy this blog

Captain Taylorey -

"Jeffrey Zeldman made a reference to "blogs" as the "web's independent content scene" which just resonates better with me.
...
I like the idea of the independent content scene. It reminds me of the independent film scene, or the independent music scene. And it also reminds me that it's only a matter of time before we all sell out and start producing homogenized crap under the name of being 'alternative.'"
Sell out? Sell out! Yeah! Where do I sign? I've always wanted to sell out. Well, not always, but after suck did I lost all hope. So who wants to buy webloglog? Quick, I need to sell out now, while webloglog is so hot that people start blogs by flipping me off (see bottom of page)
posted 4/24/2000 11:17:00 PM | perma-link

Thursday, April 20, 2000

nipples are what unite the human race

After being linked by Neale (4/18) for some slightly risque pics, Rebekah accepts a new tagline for the blorg -

"The Blorg: Come for the nipple. Stay for the content."
Content? There's content there? I've been going for the, errr, yeah, umm, whatever, for weeks, but I never noticed any content.

Oh, she must mean that weblog thing on the left. I can never read that because the right hand side is too, umm, distracting.

You know, back in the old skool, I never used to have that problem reading Camworld or Scripting News or flutterby. These crazy new skool bloggers, with their auto-blogging tools, and their breasts, why back in my day we had to update our weblogs manually, and there weren't women with webcams, there were just white guys. Lots and lots of boring, boring white guys, and if they wanted they could show all the nipple they wanted without causing a stir.
posted 4/20/2000 8:09:06 PM | perma-link


honestly

neale is getting kind of wacky even by my standards.
posted 4/20/2000 6:19:03 PM | perma-link


let's try this again...

...there is no such thing as an internet rockstar

jacky, in his response to ellie clarifies that he is not an actual celebrity, that's just a joke, "haha," although he is a "universal super hottie"

"i play up my supposed "fame" because i think it's funny, but when people take it too seriously, it really does start to bother me. i grew up with punk rock, which taught me to smash the idea of celebrities being bigger than life. i'm just a human being; the game i play sometimes is just an act. god, i feel so pompous even having to state this fact."
And I feel pompous even linking to it. I think in situations like this, punks have to ask themselves, what would Mike Watt do? And the answer is probably, stop with the web crap and make crazy music and mad destruction... err, never mind.
posted 4/20/2000 3:29:18 PM | perma-link

oh my god, it's fricking huge!

The new blog 1129media.com's Musings -

"So I was just looking at the BLOGGER site, and checking out some of the "Fresh" listings . . . and its hit me that this whole Blog-thing is much, much bigger than I ever imagined. I'm so amazed."
Don't be. Try actually reading those blogs on the fresh list. It's painful.
posted 4/20/2000 3:18:14 PM | perma-link

the anonymous public open whatever blog

No, not openlog, the yaddaness - public blog

"I usually don't join webrings or cliques, but..there's always a first time for everything. Should we be linksluts too? There's just so much to choose from."
Yeah, all two of them. Such choice, to be a follower of jishy or nealey or both.

As one of the illustrious single-digit linksluts, I think it's my duty to say, yes, join the linkslut empire webring, sleeping with neale for hits and links isn't as bad as you might think. Well, actually it is, but after a while you get used to it.

Ok, honestly, I only encourage people to join the linksluts ring because the more linksluts the less sexual favors I have to perform.
posted 4/20/2000 3:11:23 PM | perma-link


blog-boy-crazy

Ellie talks about her girly she is, and then reveals her little web.crushes -

"ok, let it be known: these are some of the boys on whom i'd most likely develop a crush on if i knew them in person. don't worry, girlfriends/fans/stalkers of said cute boys; i'm not saying i like them. i just think i might if i knew them. but i don't, so it's all good. anyway, the thing with these boys is that they all live so far away, that most of them are probably "too old" for me, that they're all probably "out of my league," blah blah blah. i think the reason why i find them attractive is because they've got the interests, qualities, or personalities i tend to look for in boys, and there are none in the immediate vicinity who fit the description. or, they might just be good looking like Tom."
Proving once again that the power of the internet and weblogs in particular can actually dupe women into thinking that geeky guys who spend their lives in front of their computers are crush-worthy. (Well, not all of them, some are beyond help...)

All I can say is the increasing teeny-bopperization of the weblog "scene" definitely makes me happy I'm no longer a teenager.
posted 4/20/2000 2:46:28 PM | perma-link


Friday, April 14, 2000

i wish my name rhymed with porn

Wendelly joins the circus of freaks commonly referred to as "meta-bloggers." I still like to think of us as "post post-modernists," but that's only because I'm a pretensious fuck who takes philosophy classes at stanford. W4, not to be confused with M3, has coverage of the weblogs mailing list smackdown -

"LAY-DEEES AND GEN-TUL-MUN!!! The World Weblog Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents: WEBLOGMANIA V. 20.0!!! And now, THE MAIN E-VENT!!! In this corner, weighing in at 17,218 EditThisPages, the Thrilla With Manila, the man who I stole all these exclamation points from!!! STONE COLD DAVE WINER!!!

And, in this corner, weighing in at 246,000 words about James Joyce, accompanied by the lovely Jennicam, the man who coined the word "weblog"!!! JORN "MANKIND" BARGER!!!"

I couldn't help but ask myself, Dave who? And, there's a guy whose name sounds like porn who has a weblog?

So, I did what any weblog enthusiast would, and searched through the now available Bloat! archives. It turns out that Whiner and jornographic both run crazy little weblogs! Who knew?

Pop quiz: which is most pathetic

  1. the fact that there is a weblogs mailing list,
  2. that jorn and dave are having a little pissing match and "splitting" it
  3. that wendell blogged it
  4. that I blogged wendell blogging it.
If you answered four, screw you. You should've said two to make me feel better, it is my fricking birthday.
posted 4/14/2000 1:10:17 AM | perma-link

Wednesday, April 12, 2000

grrl power

The Big K -

"Well, this is certainly old news: women are people too! Guh. I don't know, when I read articles like these (written by a man, of course), they always come off as "women, despite their obvious technological shortcomings, are coming online in droves...and thriving! Look at 'em go, they're so darn spunky!" What a load of crap. And then you post something like that to Slashdot, and you get comments like "Yay! More geek chicks!", which, I agree, is great, but given the forum in which that comment is made, it comes off as a bunch of male construction workers hooting at any passing female."
the male quadrant of planetblog -
"Sparky of Rumpus.net laments the lack of damn good sites run by women. 'I dig sassy lassies. The many ass-kickin' women I consider friends can attest to this. So how come I have such trouble finding engaging web sites made by women or girls? Am I that bad at appreciating them? Granted, there are many exceptions to this (Saran Warp, Mop, and Crush all spring to mind immediately), but I figure there's got to be a bunch more that I'm overlooking.'

Damn straight there are. When I first started making web pages way back in the bright and shiny days of early 1998 (takes you back, doesn't it?), pretty much all I read were pages run by women."

..and then he proceeds to hoot like a construction worker.

meg -

"I find articles like this one from the Chicago Tribune so distressing for two reasons:

First, because they quote studies in a way that reinforces the same old stereotypes: that girls aren't interested in how computers work, that girls would rather be popular than be geeky, that using and loving computers means you're a geek. I wonder how much these articles continue to influence our perceptions? I wonder how many young women don't realize that computers are for geeks until they read something like this?"

That's an excellent point. All the antisocial young male geeks who aren't popular and spend all their time talking about how many frags they got yesterday on Unreal Tourney didn't convince them, they need mass media articles to "realize" computers are for geeks.

Why doesn't anybody ever talk about the positive aspects of a lack of geek girls? If young women all of a sudden decided that popularity didn't matter and computers were ok, and even that geeky male losers weren't so bad, then it would fundamentally change the dynamics of everything. I mean, honestly, how many of you think this site would even exist if women had anything to do with me?
posted 4/12/2000 1:23:31 PM | perma-link


super heroes my ass

blogger -

"6:32 PM Pacific: Umm... Blogger is currently broken. Sorry about this. We're working on it..."

Fine then.

what does it say about me that i copied this entry back into blogger?
posted 4/12/2000 12:06:08 AM | perma-link


Tuesday, April 11, 2000

pyra - dc super-hero wannabes

haughey -

"Kickass! jack joins Pyra. That place is going to start feeling like some sort of Superfriends Hall of Justice."
Theoretical first day conversation between jack and haughey -

"Sorry jack, ev has already called superman."

"Batman?"

"No, pb is batman, and hamer is robin."

"Green lantern?"

"No, I'm the green lantern. You're going to have to be aquaman."

"Awww, but all aquaman can do is communicate with fish. What kind of a power is that?"

Remember kids - nobody ever wants to be aquaman. If it isn't already obvious, meg would be wonder-woman.

And mark is gleek.
posted 4/11/2000 5:19:12 PM | perma-link


Friday, April 7, 2000

Poor Research

Reminding us all once again that the party is over, LookSmart starts a weblogs category.

I saw it in the referrer logs a few days ago, glanced through it, and saw the goldmine of jokes it possessed. Or maybe that would be bad weblog-logging because it wasn't in a weblog. Either way, I'm lazy so I just decided to wait for other bloggers to point out its stupidity and quote them.

Jess -

"I've already seen a few bloggers mention the new weblog listings at LookSmart, so let me just add my voice to those who feel the descriptions are kind of wacky. Sure, you may have originally visited Pith for the "commentary on politics, current events, and entertainment," but I know you keep coming back to "find an ICQ address" (?!)."
Elsie -
"The good news is... SwallowingTacks made it onto Looksmart's list of weblogs. However, this is the first time in my entire life I've ever been accused of political satire. It's all that picking on George W, innit. That'll learn me, dammit."
and like anything involving lists of weblogs, people bitched about being left out.

Tracy -

"I was totally left out of this Looksmart weblog list. The only other person I didn't see listed was Meg. So I submitted my URL with a cute little description and I swear there will be hell to pay if I don't get listed. My cousin Tony Scarpino in New York has been alerted that there may be a little "business" to take care of. I just hope he has some horses' heads left after that last job. Do you hear me Looksmart?"
phishey -
"actually, tracy, a lot of weblogs were left off the looksmart list. i was not surprised to not see my name. i guess "everyone" is a relative term, though. -grin-"
Of course, after reading the descriptionss Tracy reconsidered -
"Those people at Looksmart think Harrumph is a "he." Maybe I don't want them to link me after all.

One criticism of web logs is that they send people away from one's site via outside links. But I believe this proverb fits nicely here: If you set someone free they will come back to you if they really loved you in the first place."

The only people that make that critcism are people that use the words "leveraging" and "stickiness" and "corporate portal" and "B2B" in everyday conversation, and [insert your own ecommerce dotcommical joke here.]

Honestly, why are the descriptions so moronic? Hello! Looksmart! Idiots that acutally read weblogs are willing do that stuff for free, and their descriptions wouldn't suck. And check out webloglog's description for a good laugh.
posted 4/7/2000 7:59:25 PM | perma-link


Thursday, April 6, 2000

welcome to the club

Wren -

"i haven't really linked anything in ages, 'cause i haven't really surfed in ages either. internet? what's that? and somehow it's ok if meg goes a week sans linkage...but is it ok for me?

probably not."

Damned right, as a member of the elite crack team of FBI and CIA operatives that form the "weblog standards enforcement agency" I can safely say, no it is not ok. Our agents will be contacting you shortly. Meg has special dispensation because, well, it's classified, but let's just say it involves what is often referred to as the blogger cabal.

Of course, when you're feeling uninspired and don't have the time to update your weblog with anything other than pointless posts sans real linkage that is all the more reason to work on weblog logging. That's right, Wren has gone and joined Planet Weblog. Wren, welcome to the time-suck hell that is metablogging!
posted 4/6/2000 5:57:56 PM | perma-link


Wednesday, April 5, 2000

that's sick

Currently on BlogIRC ( irc.skunkworks.cx:6667, #blogirc ) you're missing Jordan's inappropriate comments.
posted 4/5/2000 6:55:57 PM | perma-link


sometimes it's too easy

Davey writes one last DaveNet piece called If I only had a brain. That's not a joke.
posted 4/5/2000 12:25:29 AM | perma-link


auto-blogica

Firda -

"I know it's lame to blog your own blog but isn't Weblog Wannabe such a sweet and cute 'blog? ;) I think so!"
It's not lame. I realize the importance of loving yourself, I mean, I really understand the importance of loving yourself, errr....

Well, maybe blogging yourself is lame. Yes. It's definitely lame. In fact it's disgusting.
posted 4/5/2000 12:21:55 AM | perma-link


Tuesday, April 4, 2000

Joey is my favorite crazy uncle

More pointless fun. The Guerrilla Banner Project - Alternative links to your favorite websites. Because the world needs more ways to link to weblogs.
posted 4/4/2000 10:34:17 PM | perma-link


desperate ploys for attention

Today on Dear Sally an anonymous weblogger asks if pranks or feuds will rescue him from obscurity.

After mentioning Exhibit A and Exhibit B -

"The bottom line is that time and time again webloggers have proven to be complete suckers for any kind of stunt that involves them and their egos. If you can think of a novel way to get attention that involves sending links to other webloggers, even if it's negative, snarky or whatever, the chances are very high that you will at least double your readership."
Let me be the first to say that twice zero is still zero.

"However be warned that if you don't have the goods to back it up, and don't have secondary surprises in store once your hits start to multiply, your only reward will be scorn, pity, and, worst of all, less visitors than when you started."
Wow, scorn and pity, bonus.

But this isn't a ploy for attention for my other blog. I don't want you to read it. It stinks. Don't read it. No. Don't..
posted 4/4/2000 9:46:01 PM | perma-link


a community effort

Honestly, I was going to blog this myself but Nealey beat me to it and submitted it via email. He even followed the template perfectly -

momma gonna knock you out

nearley -

"Results of the sims: the movie competition are in."
... and they're lame... over 3000 people visited the competition in the last month, and not a single person entered. Must be that fame and popularity don't amount to much when there's a so little at stake.

but hey, he got 3000 hits without having to give anything away. I'd trade blueblog for that type of popularity anyday.

Thanks Nealey! That was the best adam impression I've ever heard. You should consider doing this professionally. If I ever have to take a week off, you can be my guest host.
posted 4/4/2000 12:47:21 AM | perma-link

Sunday, April 2, 2000

blame jakob

I was going to respond to Mel's ass kissing with direct quotes from the riothero himself to add a little perspective... but his "screw regular scrollbars, just hold your mouse over this little tiny non-obviously placed arrow and the text will then scroll at the speed i set it to, so you get dizzy and want to puke" thwarted my efforts. Mark, ever the wonder-kid, has found the perfect way to avoid being quoted on webloglog: making me nauseous with user-hostile client-side javascript.
posted 4/2/2000 11:33:27 PM | perma-link


not so hipmeister

Nikky -

"I'm not part of the webloggers' webring and I don't have a picture in Jezebel's Mirror. My hipness level is sinking."
That's right - the way to be cool, hip and trendy is to join a webring and take pictures of yourself with mirrors.

bonus fun project - try explaining that to the "normal" people at lunch tomorrow.
posted 4/2/2000 11:22:30 PM | perma-link


too lazy to even surf weblogs

Blah blah. webloglog will not be updated today due to the poor weather.

If you're desperate for an update... just fill in the blanks yourself. It's easy.

[insert "witty" title here]

[weblogger's first name]ey -

"[some stupid quote about weblogs, popularity, personal lives, another weblog, etc. bonus points if it's out of context.]"
[insert snappy retort dripping with sarcasm here]

[optional - insert self deprecating humor w/link to blueblog archives here]

See, it's simple, easy and fun. Send in your posts today!
posted 4/2/2000 6:09:06 PM | perma-link


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